Thursday, May 5, 2011

It takes a village -- or an incredible MOMMY POSSE

Each year as Mother's Day approaches, I naturally think of all the mother's in my life. I have a beautiful mom (inside and out) that encourages, challenges, and loves me so well. I've been blessed with a grandmother who is still generous, mobile, ornery, and fun....she's my friend and I love being with her. My brother married a woman whom I am thankful for each day. She is both friend and family. My mother-in-law, grandmother-in-law, and sister-in-law have always linked so much of my husband's upbringing to our own daughters' path - plus they taught him to live with multiple women well :) I have many aunts who have modeled strong and loving mothering both to their own children and to me. And I send a big prayer and hug above to my other grandmother and my aunt (my fairy godmother) that I miss constantly.  These ladies have shaped and molded me into the mother that wakes up each morning, makes that cup of coffee, and tries to do a better job raising a 5 and 6 year old than she did yesterday.

But there is another group of ladies who I always am thankful for on Mother's Day and every day -- THE MOMMY POSSE. The Mommy Posse is a group of ladies who aren't all necessarily close friends with each other (although some are), but they are the people in my life who support and encourage me, and enjoy my children as their own. They are my village - and I couldn't imagine raising my daughters without them.

In reflecting about the posse, I realize, it's likely natural I've sought out this support. My mother, after all, was and is blessed with a posse all her own.  When I was a kid, they were the ladies that drove me to dance when my mom wasn't out of work yet and braided hair for recital because my mom was only used to brushing down my oh-so-fabulous bowl cut.  They were 10 or so extra sets of eyes looking out as I entered the dating world. We vacationed together, had holiday celebrations together, and spent many long summer days together. They drove 90 minutes for an important try out, bearing signs and flowers, and cheering loudly despite the fact that it was a relatively quiet room. The got me pizza after wards. They remembered birthdays, celebrated scholarships and special occasions, and made dozens of cookies for my wedding.  When we lost a family member, these are the gals that come over, cleaned the toilets quickly and stocked the house with toilet paper and wine. They are fabulous and inspiring and I lovingly call them her "YaYa Sisters" these days. 

After growing up with this sort of support, how could I not seek it out for my own family? I've been blessed with an equally supportive gang that cherishes my children by my side. They each provide support in different way. Here's some pearls of wisdom that I've learned from my Mommy Posse:
~ "Put her in the crib and walk away. She will be okay and stop crying eventually."
~ "It's rare that one will look the same after kids as before - get over it and spend your time enjoying them."
~ "It's ok if she doesn't seem to care about learning letters, she will be fine in school."
~ "It's ok that she (different child) reads all day long, she will be fine at school!"
~ "I'll be there in 5 minutes, just put shoes on them."
~ "How about we just go for a walk? A drive? A little vacation?"


I have members of the posse that have older children and let me know what to expect. Some share my faith and teach my children in Sunday School and by beautiful example. I have neighbors and friends who are here in an instant and have picked up the pieces at times when unfortunate events occur.  My posse has shared recipes, breastfeeding tips, discipline techniques, play dates, and many needed girls-night-outs. One even picked up a "doggy mess" when my husband was out of town and I was pregnant and gagging! Some don't have children of their own yet but love mine as theirs and provide the oh-so-important reminder that I am my own person in addition to a Mommy. I don't have to be skinny, well dressed, constantly perky, or have a clean house with these ladies. They don't expect to me to wear makeup but notice if I do! Competitiveness is non-existent between us. They are the friendly familiar faces and the warm hugs that my kids recognize as an extension of my own love to them. They step in for me when I can't give 100% and they step in when I can and my daughters are blessed with 200%! They provide balance, extra arms, wet wipes, and sanity. I am thankful beyond explanation for each and every one of them and for how they enrich my life and my family's.

So on this Mother's Day, I wish all of you mothers out there - who have the hardest job around, extra hugs from your kids, a great meal that you don't have to cook, and maybe even a nap.  But I also wish you the blessing I know I am fortunate to know...the loving example and support of motherhood from family and the joy of a Mommy Posse all your own!

1 comments:

Marla Reed said...

I have loved being a part of the mommy posse! Thanks for being a part of mine too! I will be forever grateful that we had each other to lean on during the early years of raising our kids!

Love,
Marla

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