A few weeks ago, while snuggling with my 4 year old, she started one of those silly but wonderful conversations.

"I love you so much Mommy."

I answered: "I love you too."

"No I love you so much you can't count it."

I answered. "I understand cause I love you that much too."

"No I love you all the way to the moon."

"Or to Heaven."

"Which is farther Mom?"

Hmmmm....

I said Heaven and that I loved her that much too, but then I took a turn to be silly and decided I see what she loved about me and maybe what she didn't...a performance review for parents if you will.

She gleefully replied I gave the best hugs and was really good at cooking. She said the rule I made them follow most was not to touch a hot stove (What?! What about the share-treat others as you'd be treated-clean up your stuff before you get other stuff out-how did that make you feel mantra that spills out of my mouth multiple times a day?) and that when she was a mom one day she might do things differently by allowing ice cream before dinner occasionally, but she wasn't quite sure yet.

It hit me then. Of all the rules I try to make them follow, all the meetings and appointments I often have to drag them to, and all the work I do from home while diverting them to other activities, she holds on to two things - that I want her to feel LOVED and SAFE. I took a deep breath and let out some stored up Mommy guilt. Thinking back briefly to my own childhood, I understood her in that moment. Sure there is one or two unjust teenage rules that I still debate with parents, but for the most part, those are the two things I remember the most as well. I never doubted that I was loved and felt very safe - what a gift! I thought I'd share because parents today have plenty on our plates. Our society moves faster than before and for employment reasons many are not living near strong family support systems. Most families don't have the luxury of one parent staying home and even if they do, that parent is often stressed with so much work in the home, that they too feel the guilt creep up. None of us is alone in feeling like we want to be more present or do more for our children who we love all the way to heaven and back. Take your own deep breath this morning, hug your child, play one game with them, and do your best to make your home one that helps them know they are safe. I promise if you do that, you'll pass your performance review with flying colors! Who knows, maybe you'll even get a raise!

After being forced to use my desktop (free advice keep coffee away from laptops, they don't get along), I was looking through some old photos and found this one of our now 4 year old. It made me smile and think of this entry :-) No matter what the age, our children feel our love!